Saluting real friendships

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendships. The media will have you believe that as women we spend our days shopping tirelessly with a group of girlfriends, laughing our way through shoe fittings, lunches and then sun downers. And I’m sure this is the truth for some women. But for many of us, this just isn’t the reality.

I have never been one to have a ‘squad’ of girlfriends and as I get older I’m more aware of the meaningful relationships in my life. I’m at a place where I’m comfortable to say that I need more than just the platonic, polite, we-hang-out-for-old-times-sake type of friendships. Where we’re not just united by gossip, convenience or a common enemy. Friendships which have an undercurrent of jealousy, competition and bitchiness just don’t do it for me. The ones that leave you feeling drained and needing to regroup. The one’s where you feel like you’re constantly being judged and have to explain your choices as though you need their stamp of approval. We’re all guilty of entertaining these dead-end friendships out of a sense of loyalty and obligation. But if any relationship no longer nourishes your soul, it’s okay to simply walk away from it.

Do  not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts…good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourself. — Michelle Obama

My closest friends aren’t the one’s I see or speak to often. But rather, they are the friends with whom I share the realest version of myself. They are the friends that I can go weeks, even months, not speaking to and when we do reconnect, it feels like yesterday since we last spoke. They are the friends who I laugh wholeheartedly with, open about about fears and dreams to and they are the friends that hold me to account. They cheer for you and are genuinely happy for your achievements and give you their full attention when you need someone to talk to. In an age where you practically have to peel people away from the phones, being fully present is a highly valued commodity these days.

These are the friends we can argue with, but still respect each other enough not to discount one another’s viewpoint’s. These friends will irritate you sometimes because they know you so well that they might as well be family. And that’s exactly it; they are your chosen family, your tribe, your people.

friends-quote

As good as these friends have been to me, I try to be the same for them. And I think that’s how you know you have a lifetime friend. The friendship is easy, drama-free, authentic and the effort is equally matched. It’s not important how long you’ve known them, but the depth in which you know each other. These ladies and gent are my confidantes. The few people on this earth who truly know me. I wish I could see more of them, but life and finances don’t always allow it.

This is a tribute to those friends. Thank you for putting up with me and always being there.

You know who you are 😉

XOXO

Nelisiwe

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Kim Gorman says:

    Beautiful article and so true.

    Liked by 1 person

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